Only child doesn t want a sibling May 1, 2022 · Having an adult child who wants no contact with you can be a painful and frustrating experience. But does see the sibling relationships his friends have, especially those with babies at home who come to school pick up and they all play with the baby/toddler and says he’d love to be a big brother and show them how to do things. Pick something fun like reading a book together or a few extra minutes of playtime. But she doesn’t really get it. While being an only child doesn’t necessarily make you Jan 9, 2023 · Or conversely, are more children desired so that the first child can have the companionship that siblings provide? Did one parent come from a large lively family and cannot imagine having anything less? May 22, 2025 · Is Only Child Syndrome real or just a myth? Uncover the surprising truths about growing up without siblings—explore the unique traits, challenges, and advantages that set only children apart. “In the United States, the only child stereotype in a nutshell is: selfish, lonely, and maladjusted. But now that I’m older I’m glad the 4 of us are best friends. Loneliness Out of all the pros and cons of having one child vs two, this is the biggest disadvantage of being a single child at home. But is this birth order theory true, with implications for friends and family of someone with no siblings? An only child speaks to a family psychologist to find out. May 7, 2024 · What is the “birth order dating theory”? It’s a TikTok trend that says your sibling dynamics can impact your personality, and in turn, who you're compatible with in dating. He is happy with just having 1 sister, and doesn't like babies at all, and DOESN'T As soon as I read quiet and reserved child vs. Love does not 'grow' with more kids. Emily Oster looks at what the data says. Others say singletons are better off. I didn’t get a chance to get to know my half my siblings then. I would not have two kids because you think having one is stressful. Most of my daughter's (4 in two weeks) friends have siblings, either older or younger. Reply reply wolfiethebunny • Apr 24, 2014 · How old is your current child? Also, never feel guilty for having only one child. Sibling rivalry is common, but when one child has learning differences or ADHD, it can be more complicated. child who can't stop making noise , I understood the rage immediately. 3. Break the stigma and learn how to nurture social connections for happy, thriving kids. Another sibling may want to rent the house for income while a third sibling just wants to sell and get out from under the burden of inheriting house. Sep 15, 2023 · For example, our research showed that growing up in a disadvantaged household appears to carry a larger effect on how children performed in the cognitive tests than being an only child versus growing up with siblings. My parents had 4 kids and I resent them everyday for it. My 2 children don't know, we havent told anyone yet. Some of the people I know with siblings either don't interact with their siblings A few days ago, she asked me "Why don't I have a brother or a sister mom?". The hidden truth about only children May 18, 2025 · One common question that I get as an only child is – “Was there ever a time when you wanted to have siblings?” Only children will have different answers to that question. I was taken aback when mine popped this question. He was raised as an only child, I got pregnant with him when I was in my early 20s but didn't stay with May 31, 2022 · Easily asked, the question of whether or not to have a second child is not so simple to answer. Respect the normal possessiveness of children while you encourage and model sharing. Parents exclusively dedicate their time, energy, and emotional resources to one child, fostering secure attachments and confident development. Without siblings, a Only children receive undivided parental attention, creating strong parent-child bonds without sibling competition. Feb 16, 2016 · And it's not like she's looking out for your well-being, or thinking that nobody is "good enough for her sister" — it just seems like your sibling doesn't want you to be happy, period. Here's how to support them through the disappointment of not having a sibling when they really want one. Constant Fighting When there seems to be no end to the bickering, it can feel debilitating Only children are now more common than ever in Australia. Nov 1, 2022 · “Onlies” don’t seem to be any worse off than kids with siblings. Apr 14, 2010 · Hopefully helpful graphic: General sibling combinator The general sibling combinator selector is very similar to the adjacent sibling combinator selector we just looked at. Take an objective look at your siblings’ reasons for staying at arm’s length and learn how you can get everyone on the same page. Don't let social pressure force you to have more children than you are comfortable and capable (both mentally and socially) of handling. Sep 1, 2024 · Growing up without siblings in the 1950s, it did not take long for psychologist Toni Falbo, PhD, to learn about stereotypes. My own research with colleagues found that when looking at how children performed in cognitive tests, only children My family is in a weird dynamic of my parents are about to be empty nesters but can't really accept that fact. I was the child and didn’t see the need for a sibling, plus I wouldn’t ask because I didn’t think I would have a say in something as serious as adding another person! My parents both worked and I grew up with nice things and fun vacations that I could always invite a friend. Jan 30, 2023 · What if One Child Doesn’t Want to Serve? Sometimes a parent will feel they should name siblings as co-trustees, but one or more of the siblings would really rather not have the responsibility or take the time. 1. Oct 20, 2020 · Preferences for: wanting children or not, wanting to be pregnant or not, wanting siblings or not, grandchildren or not, baby name preferences, baby expressed gender preference, etc Apr 27, 2020 · Some parents think siblings make kids happier. Don't just have a kid so your other kid has a sibling. Having a sibling doesn't mean a built-in friend or dependable person. One mum took to Reddit to ask how she should respond to her daughter when she asks for a sibling. Its hard to articulate at that age how constant, purposeful noise from somebody makes you want to chew your own arm off just to escape them. Jan 29, 2023 · I have a 5-year-old and a 1-year-old, and my older child wants nothing to do with the baby. I'll be forced to be the legal guardian, otherwise I go to jail. Apr 18, 2016 · Here is how you can talk to your child who is asking for a baby sister or brother but you do not plan to expand the family. Can the relationship work with this magnitude of differences in desires? There are a variety of perceptions regarding the idea of bringing children into a relationship. Here’s the thing about my son. My parents Mar 15, 2020 · If you look around at your siblings and you have difficulty seeing the effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect, do not allow that to make you question your own. 5yos love their parents and just want to be up your butt all the time. So if you don't mind sharing, do you wish you had a sibling? Do you feel that was a missing thing in your life or do you feel, and felt growing up, wholly content as an only-child? Doesn't it happen irl as well? Sometimes parents do plan for an another baby but also like to ease in the idea of it to their other child (or children) by asking them that, if they'd like a new sibling or what do they think of it. But there are factors you can consider that will help guide your decision. r/OnlyChild: A community for only children. Despite all the challenges and conflicts, siblings shape an individual’s personality a lot. Edit You have to explicitly state it, or some people just won't get it, especially if siblings have been allowed before. This will reassure your child and Apr 1, 2025 · How to recognize signs of a toxic family relationship, plus how to deal with it and set boundaries. Posted March 29, 2022 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan Aug 21, 2024 · Do you have any siblings or are you an only child? Have you ever wished you had siblings or didn’t have them? There probably were days when the grass seemed greener on the other side. I know, for real. So why do stereotypes about them persist? Dec 22, 2008 · I think the first question you always want to ask when a child appears not to want to behave in a way that's developmentally in sync with where you expect them to be is why. Experts share when it's ok to cut them off with no contact. my 6 year old DD has been asking for a baby sister (or brother) for a long while. So far, that stereotype cannot be Apr 11, 2025 · Discover what to do when your partner doesn’t want kids and how to navigate this emotional difference. I don't want another baby. Jan 10, 2023 · Among social and economic considerations, more parents are foregoing siblings, choosing to stop at one child. Friendship, loneliness, and socialization aren’t as different between kids with siblings and those without. Don’t force a child to share Instead, create attitudes and an environment that encourages your child to want to share. I was happy being an only child and I am happy being a big sister (though I've wondered what it would be like to be the younger sib). Hi everybody, I'm new to this community. I hated having no possessions, no privacy, constantly getting judged, no room to grow, being compared to each other all the time. I’m an only and also the mother of an only (by choice) I don’t ever remember asking for a sibling. To this day, she’s glad she was raised Jan 31, 2012 · Many of today’s parents are opting for just one child, and new research is challenging long-held assumptions that siblings are a must for a happy childhood. So I’ve no experience with siblings, positive or negative. My own sibling has caused a lot of stress in my life, so I don't automatically see having a sibling as a good thing. With my mom and her siblings she has two; two are close and the one out of the two is usually causing issues. Why or why not? Yes, only children can be extremely happy and successful and enjoy being only children, and if that's what is overall better for the parents then it will have no ill effect on the child. I like to tell my therapist I’m a very expensive investment lol. So why are we weird about them? Being an only child makes life somewhat difficult if you’re the only one taking care of aging parents and the parents pass away… but I’ve also known folks with siblings and only one of the siblings is the mature, responsible one to take on important tasks. Having a sibling is like having an inbuilt friend always Jan 14, 2025 · When an adult child cuts ties from one or both parents, they choose to disconnect from a relationship they believe is unmanageable. Aug 19, 2024 · Bringing a new baby into the family is exciting, but it can also be challenging for older siblings. Oct 1, 2023 · I think parents need to want a second child because they want a second child - not because they want a playmate for their first born. Nov 26, 2012 · Only children are the most likely to want a brother or sister, yet some singletons never ask. No, I don’t owe my child a sibling — he’s perfectly fine being an only child. Bookmark the permalink. It's true some only children are lonely, but that doesn't automatically mean their parents did anything wrong, or didn't try to make sure they had friends and companionship. A subreddit for parents who have decided or had the decision made for them to only have one child. 498 votes, 240 comments. Like, "due to space/the activities planned/etc, we are unable to accommodate siblings this year, and the invitation is for (invited child's name) only. Then watch how your child operates in a Apr 11, 2024 · What happens when a house is left to multiple people? And do all heirs have to agree to sell the property, or can one person push a sale? Here’s what you need to know. What's stopping that 3 May 1, 2022 · Having an adult child who wants no contact with you can be a painful and frustrating experience. In fact, for a while we thought it might never happen so we went quite hard on all the great things about being a Mar 7, 2022 · She is lecturing me on how my 4-year-old still wears a pullup at bedtime, telling me to cut out dairy products for my children, telling me I must only serve my family 100 percent organic food People who decide to stay child free often talk about being an uncle or aunt, but what if your sibling also doesn’t plan on having children? What does it look like? My sister also doesn’t want kids and I’m wondering about the future. While there may be arguable benefits (and drawbacks!) to having multiple children, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having only one. Dec 6, 2019 · For her, her siblings shaped the way she grew up, and she learned “how to share and how to realize the world doesn’t revolve around you, and also how to negotiate to get what you want and accept it if you don’t. Looking back on everything, I honestly wish I hadn’t responded to their private message & eventually meet them. My little sister is 5 years younger than me so I have memories of being an only child. Dec 12, 2024 · Explore the unique benefits of being an only child or having siblings. For many singletons, the question is fleeting. Nov 13, 2025 · She wants children, he doesn’t For instance, consider a relationship where you want your own children, but your partner doesn’t. My parents were so busy with the other kids/working/fighting to pay enough attention to me. I'm so upset and confused right now. Learn ways to manage rivalry. Anyways I took leave from college due to medical issue and I plan to go back next semester but I feel like every back step is a failure. No surprise that the OP is an r/teenagers user who's probably butthurt that mommy wants to Nov 26, 2024 · Having one child can come with a lot of benefits for some families, but it can also have its own set of challenges. Jul 9, 2020 · She wound up an only child because she specifically told her parents, as soon as she could talk, that she did not want a sibling, and they listened to her. And while he has experience aplenty of growing up with brothers and a sister and all that entails, there were times the discord between our kids was tough on him, too. Not only that, she is sometimes mean—pushing her over, throwing toys at her, and acting angry when we Okay - that’s interesting because my only never asked for what others have, still doesn’t. For those who are 💯 OAD! A place to chat with other OAD parents about the positives of raising an only child. Everytime she says anything, my son gets very upset, cries and says he would be furious if i had another baby. Parental self-care Having only one child can provide parents with more time and energy to focus on their own self-care, personal goals, and relationships. A child concludes “My siblings took it from me, it’s unfair and I resent it and…I want it back May 22, 2025 · Is Only Child Syndrome real or just a myth? Uncover the surprising truths about growing up without siblings—explore the unique traits, challenges, and advantages that set only children apart. Having a sibling doesn't guarantee that they will get along or that the relationship will even last a lifetime. I’m (22f) and my parents are basically in their early seventies. When one sibling does all the caregiving for aging parents, it often breeds tension and resentment. This worries me, since I don’t have siblings I’ve always been the focus. At the end of the day, that sad face could have come after anything: eg not having an Xbox, being invited to a birthday party, going ski holiday, having a date to prom, etc. Jan 18, 2025 · According to psychologists, these are 12 common traits of people who weren't close with their siblings as children. I can't get out of it by ignoring sibling and not give them proper care because that is child neglect. In fact, some researchers and authors are making a convincing case that children are actually better off without siblings. It is time to shift away from the perspective of only children as a single group sharing particular traits. Just because you have siblings doesn't mean you'll like them. May 17, 2017 · Scientists have discovered that being an only child doesn't just lead to behavioural differences that can set kids apart from those with siblings - it actually affects a child's brain development, too. After all, you live with them almost your entire life. But it's impossible to ignore that there are SO many benefits to having a sibling. A common scenario is one sibling who lived in the house with their parent doesn’t want to leave. You might feel a profound sense of sadness. Feb 18, 2024 · Learn how to cope when siblings don't help care for elderly parents, with tips to manage stress, set boundaries, and find the support you need. My husband is the baby of four, though. I mean, FFS, why on earth would a parent ever give two shits about whether or not their whiny 5 year old complained that they didn't want a sibling. There is only so much to go around and, if my siblings have more, there is less for me. Sep 13, 2023 · Only children’s cognitive development by age 11 is more affected by things like their parents’ relationship and wealth than whether they have brothers and sisters. I'm an able bodied adult, so there isn't really any real reason why I can't take care of sibling in the eyes of the law. The difference is that that the element being selected doesn’t need to immediately succeed the first element, but can appear anywhere after it. Plus, how to heal in adulthood. And here are some cons: 1. I understand your point and having children is the luck of the draw of how easy or difficult they will be. If there is a big age gap between siblings, one or more of them may experience sibling rivalry, or they don’t want to play the same games, meaning getting siblings to play together can become tricky. Can't abandon them somewhere, either. Mar 4, 2023 · I wondered if anyone has any advice about sharing the news of a new baby with a first born who is adamant they don't want a sibling? My DD is 5 and although we have always wanted a second, we've experienced recurrent pregnancy loss and she's become very used to being and only. In fact, we mental health folks worry more about the child who STOPS playing in anticipation of a sibling. To you, they’re only toys. Is that cause for worry, for the sake of all those only children? Won't – as the stereotypes suggest – they grow up lonely, less socially adapted and more spoilt? The answer: absolutely not. And, he or she is doing this exactly as we want kids to do. You cannot ignore such benefits of having only one child. Here, find one psychologist's breakdown of how birth order can affect your love life. I'm an only child myself and never missed a sibling. Read her story here! May 24, 2024 · There's no sign of this decline slowing. Discover how Kintree helps preserve your family's story, bridging generations and celebrating connections. Feb 11, 2022 · Stigma, alienation, and silence create fertile ground for misperceptions about sibling estrangement. My son has a half sister on his dads side 10 yrs older, barely any interaction even though she's always lived with us, when going to medical appointments or his therapies they tell me she doesn't count in terms of sibling relationships because of the age gap. I am looking for any science behind outcomes of only children versus those that have at least one sibling? I know that's not the only thing to base a decision like this on, but when I think about a second one, I find it in the context of my own positive experience with a sibling coupled and the fact we have shared experiences that we've bonded over. I often felt neglected and lonely. Never in my life have I met a grown only-child who didn't lament the fact that they missed out on the opportunity of having a sibling. He gets plenty of play time and one on one with us (parents) but still wants another kid to socialize with. Learn how to turn the tide. If someone asks him about wanting a brother or sister, he is adamantly against it. I have a 15 month old I'm really happy with our life the way it is. No surprise that the OP is an r/teenagers user who's probably butthurt that mommy wants to Jul 30, 2025 · Adult only children take the long view on the benefits and drawbacks of growing up solo. While sibling Feb 23, 2022 · There is commonly an expectation that siblings close in age will also be close friends. She was often told she was nothing like an only child—presumably because she played outside and had friends, like other kids. He’s been abundantly clear about how much he doesn’t want a sibling. You also learn to not take yourself so seriously. To those who grew up with siblings and a big family, how has it been for you to have an only child knowing they won't get that sibling bond? My Kids Don’t Get Along With Each Other I’m an only child. Continue to spend this special time after the baby comes. Nov 19, 2024 · Parental alienation occurs when one parent, the alienator, turns the children against the other. Jan 9, 2023 · Or conversely, are more children desired so that the first child can have the companionship that siblings provide? Did one parent come from a large lively family and cannot imagine having anything less? May 11, 2022 · Children want their parent’s attention Children, no matter what age, want their parents’ love, respect, and admiration. Jun 8, 2018 · So my only child popped me this question when a relative had a baby “Mom, I also want a baby”. The work of the child is to play. To a child, they’re a valuable, prized collection that has taken years to assemble. Now her only two friends who did not… Oct 23, 2019 · We all know the characteristics of so-called "only child syndrome": selfishness, maladjustment, social ineptitude — but is this syndrome even real? Apr 18, 2016 · Here is how you can talk to your child who is asking for a baby sister or brother but you do not plan to expand the family. Parents and other relatives often also expect that the older will support the younger, or the stronger will Oct 13, 2017 · Should I intervene? Our older daughter is awful to her younger siblings! I have a 12 year old daughter who is terrible to her younger brother and sister: putting them down, humiliating them around … Aug 14, 2023 · 7. There is no guarantee that having another child with any age gap would change that. Jun 23, 2023 · She desperately wants a sibling (well a sister to be precise) but now is not the right time and that is something we have tried to tell her in a child-appropriate way. This will reassure your child and I know having siblings doesn’t guarantee a relationship (I have a brother and a half sister but don’t talk to either one of them, and haven’t since we were little aside from holidays). ” This is something that a lot of only children don’t understand. In fact, for a while we thought it might never happen so we went quite hard on all the great things about being a Mar 7, 2022 · She is lecturing me on how my 4-year-old still wears a pullup at bedtime, telling me to cut out dairy products for my children, telling me I must only serve my family 100 percent organic food Hi everybody, I'm new to this community. That potentially means that the thought of a sibling is so overwhelming, that the fantasy itself seems too daunting. One half sibling tracked me down 10 years later through social media. Telling kids about a new sibling early helps keep them from feeling anxious. Kids also need alone time with each parent. . Jul 30, 2025 · More only children weigh in: “I am an only child, and while I resented it as a kid, now it's nice. Take note if any of the following apply to your children and consult their pediatrician. I can It’s understandable we want our children to have everything they would like, but in reality, life doesn’t work that way. Nov 13, 2022 · Kids may ask for a younger sister or brother at various phases of life. I hated pregnancy and childbirth and have no desire to go through it again so that's worked out fine for both of us. This space is here to freely discuss and offer support for the specific challenges, unique parenting perspectives, and judgement we face from society or sometimes our own family because of our decision to only have one child. It is not always super fun but that's just where they are. I was ok with it since I enjoyed being an only child & didn’t want siblings anyway. I have other adult siblings (21+) that still live with them who have seemingly no intentions of moving out and one younger sibling just starting high school who cant wait to move out. Get tips to help kids understand a sibling’s challenges. There is enough negativity and judgment about only children… This can be our little happy place ️ No fence-sitting posts allowed! Conversation tips and practical approaches for responding to your child who says they don’t want another sibling. I must admit I had no idea what to say and ended up distracting her with something else (I know, not the best move but as I said, this is a sensitive topic for me too). Oct 1, 2020 · An only child often gets a home with less disruption and arguments—some studies suggest young siblings fight every 10 minutes – and most importantly, that increasingly vital tool of knowing how to be independent and alone. It may be asked once or a couple times before your What's better, having one child or having many? What are the pros and cons of being an only child? Read on to learn more about this topic. Nov 8, 2024 · Discover why being an only child doesn't equal loneliness. Aug 12, 2024 · Being an only child doesn’t mess you up for life. Sep 14, 2016 · But people tend to see kids asking for a sibling as 'proof' that an only child is lonely when really the kid doesn't even know what they are asking for. You should only have a child if YOU and your partner want one because that's all that matters ultimately. Jul 30, 2025 · Adult only children take the long view on the benefits and drawbacks of growing up solo. What does science really say? Aug 7, 2021 · I'm pregnant with my second child but my seven-year-old son says he doesn't want a sibling. Unhealthy Sibling Relationships – When To Worry While fighting between siblings is common, there are red flags that may indicate a larger underlying problem. From a child’s perspective that love, respect, and admiration are like a pie. If your half-siblings are from a wealthy background, they might distrust your motives, assuming you want something from them. Oct 16, 2020 · Be mindful to select books and shows with characters that are only children so that your daughter doesn’t find herself feeling like everyone has a sibling but her. Mar 29, 2022 · Family Dynamics 10 Things That Can Drive Adult Siblings Apart Trauma, jealousy, money, and more. I am pregnant only 6 weeks. Oct 9, 2024 · Only child syndrome is a theory that says that only children tend to be spoiled, selfish and poorly socialized. Jan 17, 2020 · “But he needs a sibling,” they protest. Jul 1, 2020 · DD is an only and has always said she doesn't want a sibling. We promise. However, whether older or younger, having a sibling can help the other learn about the world, especially with older siblings acting as role models. Jun 17, 2020 · Because of COVID, so much of that is off the table, and Jane frequently brings up her only-child status and asks why she doesn’t have a brother or a sister. There is power in possession. Also, feel free to share your own experiences. You may drop off (invited child's name) if needed". Mar 2, 2023 · Pauline Vitug, an only child in her mid-20s, shares her thoughts as well as the pros and cons of having no siblings. But not any kid! He doesn’t want a random kid he meets at the park but kids he’s friends with from school or others he’s met elsewhere that he already has a Oct 7, 2023 · My only child used to want a sibling on and off over the years, but now says she loves being an only. They also act all upset and throw out comments like "there's my long lost son" or "well look who I grew up with 3 siblings and hated it. In extreme cases, seek help from a family therapist. Feb 9, 2017 · Posted in Family and tagged children and childhood, Elizabeth Maria Naranjo, kids, motherhood, Parenthood, sibling relationships, siblings, teens. Apr 3, 2025 · In this personal essay, one mom shares her experience raising siblings after growing up as an only child and what she hopes for their future. Sibling alienation occurs when one adult sibling wants to push aside another. It’s a lot when you’re trying to be your individual self. Is a need for sibling a reason enough for you to plan another child? What do you do when your only child asks for a sibling? Sep 22, 2023 · If you’re the parent of an only child, you may have had worries about how growing up without siblings may affect your child’s social skills. Apr 28, 2025 · For example, if you were the secret love child of a married man, your introduction to half-siblings might lead to everyone finding out about an instance of infidelity. Here are our top tips for raising an only child. This! Siblings are not a cure for loneliness! My son was an only child till he was 6yo and he still feels lonely sometimes. He or she is playing. Nov 23, 2015 · If you are an overly involved or protective parent, you probably feed your child’s sense of entitlement. If you’d asked me in high school, answer would have been single child all the way. Sep 10, 2020 · 3. But research has found that only children are not different from their peers with siblings when it comes to character and sociability. In fact, the one-and-done approach may be the best outcome for all.